And i did not like it. You cannot like that book.
It can only upset you. I guess if it does that, it’s done its job.
The book is about child sexual abuse.
I also saw this movie, Achanurangaatha Veedu.Its about a real life sex scandal case, where a child of 16 yrs is sexually abused by almost 40 people over 40 days. This movie although does not have gory scenes. It only has people’s emotions over what has happened.
I have always wondered at male directors or script writers, who can depict how a woman feels.
Few are successful. Lal Jose has just done it too well wherever he has shown that in the movie. But mostly its about how the Dad feels.
While i was in tiss, i have overheard some social work friends speak about their field work in women cells. These cells are set up in police stations for cases related to women and children.
They have come back to the hostel feeling completely devastated having met fathers abusing their daughters and who seem to be completely unapologetic about the same.
Reading 245 pages stating similar things is too disturbing.
By 1997 statistics, there are almost 4414 childred who were raped in a year i.e. 12 children were being raped every single day. And these are just the reported cases. So the actual numbers could be far higher.
Imagine this situation where children are not even safe in their own homes.
In fact you dont even have to imagine… thats just a reality that we choose to ignore.
Heart of heart, this is what i believe.
I tend to be optimistic about everything – but this one.
I think this world is an unsafe place for a girl child. You dont know where the villains are.
And even who they are. It could be just about anyone; teacher, neighbour, uncle, family friend and in some cases, even the father.
And the solution to this cannot be that we protect her within the house.
Thats the conflict that she and more importantly her parents will have to live with.
We will have to let her fly. And she will get hurt.
And all that we can do is to hold her tight.
And listen to her..
yes…. listen to her… listen to her… even when she is not saying…
We have to listen to her when she tells us that she does not like that uncle.
We have to listen when she starts having weird nightmares
We have to listen when she seems to be isolated, withdrawn or anxious
We have to listen when she starts wetting her bed all of a sudden.
We have to listen…. and believe her when she speaks.
(these are some of the symptoms thats mentioned in the book, there are many more)
because she will find it hard to speak.
And if she has not been speaking to you about the friend who hit her, or the teacher who she hates, or the eraser that she liked so much that she put it in her pencil box she may find it hard to tell you about the man who has been giving her chocolates, or the uncle who touches her weirdly or the family friend who shows her disgusting pictures.
We have to let her talk and we have to listen..
Not on the day that she stands crying and hurt and scarred.
Not on the day that we find marks on her thighs.
Not on the day that we get feedback from school about her behaviour.
We have to listen to her every day, without judgement, without hate, without anger, without obligations…
thats all that we can do for her. its an unsafe world.
and she will get hurt.
But what we must prevent is to let that scar her…. for life.
To tell her, that when something like that happens, its not her fault.
To tell her, that she is still special.
To help her not to let anyone make her feel that helpless again in life.
To help her to recognise and to stand up against any @#@$#$#%
To liberate her.
Because its an unsafe world and she will get hurt.
Men, threat or Menace.
http://instapundit.com/archives2/008571.php
its not about men or whether men are being targeted at, jay.
Its only about her!
It may be true that there is a very tiny percentage of men who are predators.But studies say that almost 40% of children are sexually abused… and I am only talking about what we can do for them. And its not about panic creation. As i said, the solution is not by protecting them within the house and from people but by making them stronger.
good change of template ;)))
Nina
even i get upset, I put off seeing that movie just because of this. the trauma and horror! and then moving on in life…you’ve written it well
and nice template change!
There was this fellow who was a neighbor of my aunt’s; a young “gentleman” who was happily married and supposedly someone who used to “adore kids”. It was after a long time that ppl realised he has abused a good number of kids whose parents never even imgained the “uncle” would do that. Well.. nothing happened. His wife went to her home for a month or so and after that evone got on with their lives …
I personally know ppl who have had such experinces, and I have seen the bitter memory they struggle with all thier life. But most of them keep mum, and even if some speak out, we rush to hush them …
Nina
bvn: i know, its upsetting.you have not even watched thanmatra.. go see that… and thanks
nina: thanks!
i know.. uncles and neighbours… but if even some of them have shared it with you, i guess their hearts must have been a wee little lighter.. the only way to get rid of this baggage is to talk about it …